Saturday, July 30, 2022

Between the legs!

 

Jonny's incredible placement 
between the legs!

By N.K.Narasimhan

There are times when you wish to take a break and park your tired heap of flesh in front of a tube. 


The trigger driven mind keeps the remote in your hand very busy switching channels largely because you're unsure which channel would  be the best one to time pass that evening.


As I keep switching channels I suddenly stop to hear some heated debate going on with an anchor at one end and a bunch of many faces, some of them are regulars who have probably been hired on a part time basis to join the debates whenever the channel needs them. Some might be chosen to counter the discussion and some for it. And may be there are some who are the surprise package who will say something out of context to kindle some curiosity in the viewers mind who would immediately start analyzing the unknown aspect of the plot of the debate. And this was one such channel I got glued into in no time.


Now, what's the debate all about?
1.Price rise? 
No, not at all.
2.Income Tax? 
No way.
3.Ukraine?
Oh, That;s Putin's problem.
4.Recession?
What recession?
5. Rishi Sunak?
Not exactly, but we are a bit close!
Then what the hell these guys were screaming their heads off for?



Oh, Jonny Bairstow's freaky shot between his legs against South Africa in the recent T20 game.
This is indeed very very important to analyze today or else the whole of India won't eat on time, might miss their meetings the next day, or may not sleep in peace. Yes, that would include the homeless citizen who will watch the debate from outside a shop which sells TV's. Now unless and until he is satisfied with the outcome of the all important debate, he is not going to get some sleep, forget about food.. Either on a pavement or in a nearby park hoping no cop would disturb his peaceful sleep after such a hard heated debate.


Michael Vaughan might claim it to be a perfect cricketing shot. His logic being simple. Any shot played on the ground in a cricket match is a cricketing shot. Agreed. But the whole of India wants to know if it was a deliberate shot selection, or an out of balance snick to the boundary or was he displaying his new found foot work. People are restless without an answer.
The girls have been ignored by the boys. The Whatsapp groups are busy arguing over it.
The wives are unable to figure out the sudden silence in their husbands life.  Oh, Bairstow, you did disturb a few boundaries..
The twitter was very busy too with various cricketing brains claiming their piece of knowledge to counter each other. Some claimed, it was a brilliant shot. And they were probably the English Cricket fans.
And there were some who flatly refused and called it a fluke or he tried to avoid the ball hitting his feet.
And they were probably the Indian cricket fans. All they know is one thing.Yeah, innovation in cricket is India's right. Ask Rishab Pant. Or Suryakumar Yadav or anyone busy answering back on Twitter. 
Soon this shot will be tried by the young aspirants and it will be known as Jonny Bairstow shot like Mankad out .


Back to the debate, they were busy dissecting various shots played in the past by other players.
And they all finally agreed that he managed to get the bat on to the ball on time instinctively or was more innovative which only goes to show what a great batsman he was and overnight he was given a great  and a rare title that would make every cricket follower very proud.of him. In fact no Indian or Aussie or any of the past Great West Indies or an English player ever achieved this.
But there was a discussion on that too.


One suggested," How about. " Between the Legs Expert!"
"No..No.. That does not highlight his skills."
"What skills? Between the legs?"
"No..no.His batting prowess."

Meanwhile another," Why are we always twisting a story?"

"Oh, Because the Nation wants to know"

"Mmmm.. why not,"Between the Legs Batter?"


All agreed. There was no impish smile. Not from me either.
He richly deserved the title," Between the legs Batter!"
"Oh, what an honour!" the happy homeless citizen replayed the unique shot again and again in his mind till his eyes blanked out the stars in the sky.
And boy, did I also sleep in peace!"












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