Google Boogle! by N.K.Narasimhan

 "Mom,

Look who is here."

Raja came rushing home screaming out in joy.

Raja's mother, a 60 and odd old housewife who has witnessed all the highs and the lows of a middle class family for ages including the times she had lost her husband in an accident that happened one early morning  in Adyar, Chennai when Raja was a toddler.

 She came rushing out, more due to unexpected things that keep conditioning one's mind to respond at the earliest on any situation. Oh yes, she has seen all that very often for all the silly reasons.

She saw and casually asked, " Oh, Radha. I knew she had gone out. In fact I was expecting her to come home and help me in the kitchen."

" No, Mom.... She is not Radha.. But she is."

Now the mother stared at her son. What's got into him?

" Raja, i don't have time for your riddles. 

Radha  come, we have work to do."

" Mom... She is not your Radha. But she is Radha."

" Raja, Enough. If you don't want your wife to help me, it's ok with me but stop talking something which only you can relate to and not me.

But.... wait a minute.. why can't Radha speak for herself. Why are you both playing a game?"

 Raja was giggling inside while his consort was

silently watching everything.

 " What's going on here?"

A voice was heard from upstairs. And all the three looked up.

" What happened...."

Radha was coming down the stairs and stopped halfway spotting someone like her.

Mother looked up and looked at the other Radha .

" Now, who the hell is she?" That was the Mother.

" Tell me, what all you did with her?'

That was Radha the wife walking down the stairs.

"Oh.. my God. This is going to take some explanation."

And you know who it was.

 

"Listen, both of you. Let me explain everything."

" What the hell? Who wants to listen to your rubbish."

"Please... allow me to explain in detail.."

"Why should I bother? I will ask her only."

Saying this Radha went straight to Radha .

" Hey, duplicate, who are you?"

" Shut up. I am the original."

" Nonsense. Where did he find you?"

" On the net."

" Oh.. oh.. now I know. Look Mom, he has found her on a dating app."

"Dating App? Some sort of a calendar?" Poor Mom was curious.

" No. Mom. I will explain... please.."

" How dare you bring someone like her? Never knew you will let me down so badly. I am packing my bags."

" Radha.. wait..please.. Let him tell his story."

" At last, you are giving me a breather. Thank you.

For information, I was surfing the net recently...."

" And you bumped into her?"

"No..no..no. I found that Google was researching on text to images and explored further. I found one can create humans of your choice by entering all the data you have of that person in mind."

" What bull!"

" Please wait.. Let him finish."

" So, what I did, I entered all the details about Radha."

"Why me, when you already have me?"

"Keep quiet. Be happy he didn't choose an actress."

" What the hell Mom? How can you support him?"

" Hey, Listen. Mom is not supporting me. Actually I wanted to challenge the software to see if it can create another Radha., a monster.."

"WHAT?"

" I meant , a monstrous task to create another you,  so smart, so beautiful, my love!"

" Shut up. She might look like me. What the hell she knows about my likes, dislikes, my parents, my native place, my college..or my dear brother."

 

" Of course. Check me out." The other Radha  raised to the occasion.

" Ok. Where did you study?"

"School or college?"

" Both dumbo!"

" I did my schooling at Church Park. College at Ethiraj."

" This guy must have fed you with all the info. Ok, next. What was your score at Plus two.?"

" Third Rank"

"What's your native place?"

" Kanchipuram"

"Brother's name."

"Ranganathan. And he is heading an IT Major at California. Two sons, Working wife, and a white Dog named Idli! You want to know the name of my first crush?"

"Oh.Shut UP!"

Radha was sweating by now. She did not expect such accurate answers.

 

Meanwhile Mom looked at her son, " Why didn't you create your Dad through that Google or Boogle, instead  of  Radha.?"

" Oh, Mom.."

 

She looked at Raja and glanced at his mom, who was bewildered.

" I am leaving...."

" Hey, wait. it was just an experiment. I can send her back." pleaded Raja.

" How?"

" Give me a sec. I will undo all  that I have created since I have not saved it."

" But without saving, how did you download an exact me?"

" There was an option to pay or download with watermark."

" Eeeek! Did you already check the watermark on her? Did you?"

" Oh, Shut up. I will undo in a second."

After 5 minutes...

" Oh..no..I can't. It has already been saved by default " screamed Raja.

" I can't.. I am done.. oh ,,no..Mom.."

Suddenly Raja found he was rudely awaken by Radha.

" What's wrong? You were screaming something in your dream."

" Oh.. it was a Nightmare?. Thank God. It was so real."

 " It's 3 am. Now go to sleep. You have an AI presentation tomorrow."

" Sure. But the first half was damn exciting!"

 

Ah, Men will be men!

 

HARE KRISHNA!

 

HARE KRISHNA!

N.K.Narasimhan

Shri Krishna Janmashtami is here this weekeend. Followers of Lord Krishna would celebrate and cherish this great day. And why not? If ever you pause for a second and think of any incident that might have got you guessing for a solution or to find a way forward all you got to do is to remember that every possible situation's complex understanding of it were clearly defined by the Lord himself through the eternal Bhagwad Gita. Not yesterday. Not last year. Ages and ages ago!

Every human being is drawn towards some quest. Be it work, name, fame or other worldly pleasures. And when he finally gets to where or what he wished for all his life little does he realise that everything that he was doing through spirit and body was all ordained even before he even took the first step. That's the Divine will. Then what about the free will? Free will is akin to a dog on a leash which is the Divine will.. Often a dog tends to forget that he is on a leash and tries to get adventurous stretching till the time the leash holds him back. 

What happens when you break away from the leash? Yes, that's like the dog who at times break away and runs some distance and looks lost only to return to his Master. Now, one may argue that it is the conditioning of the mind or else why would a dog go back?

The conditioning is part of one's Karma. Good or bad. Every action is triggered by a thought. The thought manifests in mind much before an action replays the thought. When you own up the thought as exclusively yours which eventually leads to an action, the results of such action is purely based on your thought. That is Free will. And it has it's limits.

The Divine will will be missing till the time the results or the situation reminds you that one could have still done much better than that.

Because the human mind has the power and the potential to explore without any barriers or boundaries, the mind often finds itself in a vast world of vacuum. But when the mind tunes towards the Divine, like tuning to your FM channel, the frequencies are in sync to receive the right signals.

And this weekend the whole country or even people from other parts of the world would be in sync to immerse with joy in Divinity.

I have had some of the greatest and memorable moments of Shri Krishna Janmashtami during my younger days. Be it as a school going or a school bunking kid, Krishna evoked a lot of interest in me through various ways, be it books, calendar pictures, temple carvings, short stories narrated by class teachers or at times listening to some of the greatest discourses in temples. Those days one would get to see plenty of beautifully crafted Little Krishna in bronze in street markets in Kanchipuram, my native place in Tamil Nadu. Not just Krishna, one would get to see every God and Goddess made in tiny bronze sculptures. 

As a kid I remember walking to such street vendors shops laid on the market floor and sit with them on the pavement feeling every little idol in my hands observing every bit of their craftsmanship till my mother or grand mother return after their shopping and spot meetings with known faces to pick me up. And I will leave the shop with one idol in my hand as a gift from my grand mother which were sold at way less than half a Rupee those days.And my Grandma would still bargain to get the best deal.

Back home Janmashtami for kids were full of goodies. The kitchen at home will be filled with a variety of sweets and snacks. And all of them were made only during Janmashtami and will not be available during any other season or festivals.

By evening the hall from the entrance of the house will be filled with tiny steps in rangoli ( a hand drawn design of two feet of Lord Krishna using wet rice flour ) symbolizing His entry in to your home. Often the kids or at times even the elders step on them by accident before it dries up making the floors a bit messy.

And the sweets and the snacks are distributed in the family once the Puja gets over and are also shared with the neighbors.

Till the time the snacks run out of stock in the kitchen all the kids would be busy filling their pockets everyday munching their hearts out.

Often, the temple deity is carried out on a procession with pomp and show to visit the neighboring villages for all the people to offer their prayers and seek the Lord's blessings.The kids would enjoy the fireworks which would signal the beginning of the procession.

And when the night falls after the festivities are over one would hear divine songs sung by groups from some distance.

The magic spell of the Lord would linger on throughout the night!

Hare Krishna!

Between the legs!

 

Jonny's incredible placement 
between the legs!

By N.K.Narasimhan

There are times when you wish to take a break and park your tired heap of flesh in front of a tube. 

The trigger driven mind keeps the remote in your hand very busy switching channels largely because you're unsure which channel would  be the best one to time pass that evening.

As I keep switching channels I suddenly stop to hear some heated debate going on with an anchor at one end and a bunch of many faces, some of them are regulars who have probably been hired on a part time basis to join the debates whenever the channel needs them. Some might be chosen to counter the discussion and some for it. And may be there are some who are the surprise package who will say something out of context to kindle some curiosity in the viewers mind who would immediately start analyzing the unknown aspect of the plot of the debate. And this was one such channel I got glued into in no time.

Now, what's the debate all about?
1.Price rise? 
No, not at all.
2.Income Tax? 
No way.
3.Ukraine?
Oh, That;s Putin's problem.
4.Recession?
What recession?
5. Rishi Sunak?
Not exactly, but we are a bit close!
Then what the hell these guys were screaming their heads off for?

Oh, Jonny Bairstow's freaky shot between his legs against South Africa in the recent T20 game.
This is indeed very very important to analyze today or else the whole of India won't eat on time, might miss their meetings the next day, or may not sleep in peace. Yes, that would include the homeless citizen who will watch the debate from outside a shop which sells TV's. Now unless and until he is satisfied with the outcome of the all important debate, he is not going to get some sleep, forget about food.. Either on a pavement or in a nearby park hoping no cop would disturb his peaceful sleep after such a hard heated debate.

Michael Vaughan might claim it to be a perfect cricketing shot. His logic being simple. Any shot played on the ground in a cricket match is a cricketing shot. Agreed. But the whole of India wants to know if it was a deliberate shot selection, or an out of balance snick to the boundary or was he displaying his new found foot work. People are restless without an answer.
The girls have been ignored by the boys. The Whatsapp groups are busy arguing over it.
The wives are unable to figure out the sudden silence in their husbands life.  Oh, Bairstow, you did disturb a few boundaries..
The twitter was very busy too with various cricketing brains claiming their piece of knowledge to counter each other. Some claimed, it was a brilliant shot. And they were probably the English Cricket fans.
And there were some who flatly refused and called it a fluke or he tried to avoid the ball hitting his feet.
And they were probably the Indian cricket fans. All they know is one thing.Yeah, innovation in cricket is India's right. Ask Rishab Pant. Or Suryakumar Yadav or anyone busy answering back on Twitter. 
Soon this shot will be tried by the young aspirants and it will be known as Jonny Bairstow shot like Mankad out .

Back to the debate, they were busy dissecting various shots played in the past by other players.
And they all finally agreed that he managed to get the bat on to the ball on time instinctively or was more innovative which only goes to show what a great batsman he was and overnight he was given a great  and a rare title that would make every cricket follower very proud.of him. In fact no Indian or Aussie or any of the past Great West Indies or an English player ever achieved this.
But there was a discussion on that too.

One suggested," How about. " Between the Legs Expert!"
"No..No.. That does not highlight his skills."
"What skills? Between the legs?"
"No..no.His batting prowess."

Meanwhile another," Why are we always twisting a story?"

"Oh, Because the Nation wants to know"

"Mmmm.. why not,"Between the Legs Batter?"

All agreed. There was no impish smile. Not from me either.
He richly deserved the title," Between the legs Batter!"
"Oh, what an honour!" the happy homeless citizen replayed the unique shot again and again in his mind till his eyes blanked out the stars in the sky.
And boy, did I also sleep in peace!"

Oh, that Buttler! - N.K.Narasimhan

 

"Anushkaaaa.... I scored a century."

"Are you serious? I don't believe it."

"Where were you? I played a match winning knock. We reached the Finals!"

"Oh..I am so sorry Virat. Every time you went into bat our dear one will look at you go to the middle of the ground and yell Papa papa and you will come back immediately. It was a bit too much for a little one to have her way too soon."

"Oh.. you missed my knock."

"How come? So surprising! I thought whoever bowled could get you out in a whisker. I just don't believe it. And that a century. Wait.. 

let me see the scorecard before I give you full marks. What you're saying is too shocking for me. You have helped so many players to reach their full potential. But..."

"Hey, we are not discussing what I did to others."

"You're not. I am. You get out to every Tom Dick and Harry and to every net bowler and you make tall claims here."

"Ok. If you don't believe,....See the scorecard.

Check it on your mobile."

"One sec... oh my God..Virat darling... you did it.

Its true. At last. You did score a century and won the match. Yay!

Wait...wait... Something is wrong. I forgot to mention the year. This is an old score card."

 "No..no.. it was a century. Virat scored a century. And RCB won the match."

"Hey,... useless fellow.. get up. And go, get milk. Its already 8 am. You watch some stupid match till late in the night and start screaming in sleep."

"Mom.. oh no.. was it a dream?"

"Yes... like you.. there may be so many waking up like this. You RCB fans... I tell you."

"But..where's Daddy?"

"Oh..he was yelling over the phone to somebody.

Talking about some Butler... mmm. Forever thinking of food!"

Bengali Babu By N.K.Narasimhan

During one of those great years in advertising, when I used to Lord over the Creative jungle I had many interesting experiences. As the Head of a creative team, I and my team often ended up in heated arguments in trying to defend our way of thinking with the account management while creating an ad campaign. The funniest part was the Creative guys and the Executive team never got along well except during the beer breaks.

There was one guy, a smart Bengali  Accounts Executive who had the great talent to get both the gang going in spite of various short comings. In one instance he defended our creative cause vehemently with the other executives before the presentation to the client. And off they went for the client's meeting. We stayed back due to other work smiling within knowing we have won the first round with the executives.

Couple of hours later, the victorious team returned, much to our delight waiting impatiently to know the fate of the great creative that has created such a fuss among us a few hours ago. And the Bengali babu came straight towards me with an impish smile knowing very well that all the grateful eyes were following him to my cabin.

" We did it!"

"We sold the very creative which you guys were pushing like hell."

" Great." I said.

" But there are some small changes"

" Like?"

" The Headline needs some changes"

" You mean, the size or the font?"

" Mmmm... the headline!"

" What?... What the..."

" Listen, Narsi! It was a hard sell.. The client was in no mood to look at that route.."

" Oh... Are you trying to tell me that you guys did a splendid job in convincing a client to change the headline alone?"

" Mmm.... Yes and No!"

" What's that goddamn YES for?"

" We got the client to approve the position of the logo!"

" Cut it straight. The client approved ONLY the position of the logo and all we have to do now is fill in the blanks..?"

" Yup!"

I got up, moved towards my cabin door. Opened it. The Bengali Babu got up, sweating slightly and was about to take a step towards the door.

" Wait. It's not over till it's over." I was furious, felt let down by the very guy who fought like mad with the other team mates just a few hours ago. " Was it a ploy to enact a mini drama to side track the creative team to believe in a few more miracles in life other than Jesus Christ.?

I looked at him. He was unable to look straight at me.

" Ok, You can go. But tell me what was the f....king fuss you made before you went sucking up to your client? Why the hell did you create such a scene?"

" Sorry, Narsi. I also believed that we have done the best creative. So I took it upon myself to convince the others in the team."

"...Except the client."

"Mmm. But I am not stopping with this. This client doesn't deserve  such a great ad. In fact I am happy he didn't approve it. We need better clients who would rejoice and celebrate great ideas.It's not over. We will pitch it with the other guys. You watch it. This ad will see the light of the day... and very soon!"

Oh, this Bengali Babu sure knows how to buy time. And not just time. He bought my smile too.

That stupid smirk on my face which reveals the gullible creative quench.

And late in the evening I and another friend entered a nearby eatery. 

" Oh... It was easy... I knew all along that route was a big NO!. It was no doubt highly creative. And was beyond the brief.as well. But then, we can't tell Narsi we understand clients better. So I played along and knew how to get it accepted by him without me even presenting the creative."

And that was none other than the Bengali Babu. He casually turned his head as he finished his statement with great pride. 

And he turned blue to see me right behind him.

Next day, everyone was asking him about his black eye.

Was it a creative punch?

 

OUTDOOR ADVERTISING!

A breath of Fresh Air?

From Super Sadhu-Passing Clouds

They are big, bold and beautiful. Billboards have been around for quite a while. In almost all places nowadays you can find billboards of just about every product there is in the market. No matter how you see it, billboard advertising is on the rise.

Compared to other forms of advertising, billboards are a more affordable way of getting your message across to the public. If newspaper advertising lasts only for a day and a television advertisement last for only about forty seconds, billboard adverting last 24/7

Billboards can connect easily with potential markets because more people are mobile nowadays - referring to the increasing number of commuters and more time spent outside of the house. Advances in technology have also made billboards more cost effective. Advances in digital printing have also allowed billboards to be printed cheaply and quickly on canvas. Lately, billboards have been getting pocket-friendly as well. But before you get your creative juices flowing and before you plunge into the exciting world of billboard advertising there things you need to understand.

First, don’t expect the billboard to contain a lot of information. This is not just possible. The number one rule in billboard advertising is simplicity. This rule simply means that you need to use only a few words to get your message across. But this doesn’t mean that you can no longer make complex, intelligent and intriguing statements. You still can but in the simplest way you can. Say three balls are thrown to you at the same time.

Chances are you will not catch all these balls let alone catch one. Throwing three balls at the same time is like throwing several ideas and message to your audience at the same time. If you throw one idea at a time chances are most of your readers will grasp it and walk away with the message. But if you throw two ideas at the same time only few will be able to get your message. So pay attention to the golden rule and keep your billboard simple.

The price for disregarding the rule is wastage of thousands of dollars but the reward can lead to huge fame and fortune. In billboard advertising it is also important to know your market. It pays to be aware of what your customers need and where most of your customers are to be able to strategically and effectively place your billboard. If billboards are put up in the wrong place and at the wrong crowd you might as well forget your chance of getting a lot of customers.

Money is indeed being made in billboard advertising, lots of it in fact, although trying to keep track of just how much the outdoor-advertising industry is collecting in can be tricky, since there is no system for measuring the budgets and revenues of those connected with it. But the opportunity is there. Businesses just have to make an effort and take advantage of it.