One day as I was gazing at the early morning sky a nosey neighbour joined me on the terrace.
"Hey Narsi, why do you always look lost? Lost in thoughts?"
"No no, Ram, I'm planning some new creative."
"Oh, may I know for whom?"
"For the world"
"Stop it. Be serious."
"Ofcourse I am."
"What ? Every morning I see you on the terrace, looking up at the sky and suddenly rush back and scribble something on paper."
"Yes, yes. They are for the world."
"Narsi,Stop teasing me. You look posessed when you're working on those... What do you call them?"
"Icons"
"Mmm icons. Of what good is it for anyone when you should be creating movies or creating commercials like you always do."
"But these icons are for a cause."
"Oh.. That's nice.You mean you are contributing for a noble cause?
"Yes."
"And what's it?"
"For people who prefer to download it free than to buy the icons."
"What rubbish is that? You mean, you spend hours on the terrace looking up at your dear God to send signals or shock waves to you to rush downstairs and scribble something on paper and spend the next couple of days creating some stuff in black and white on the computer...pardon if it sounds racial.And you say, its for a cause. How can your hardwork be given for free?"
"We are all building a new language.. A kind of visuals, you see."
"Who all?"
"There are many like me."
"What? Many like you? Sweating it out day in and day out for someone to free download?
Don't you guys have a family or any other responsibilities? You artists are all a silly bunch getting excited over non commercial activities."
"Not just that. We also get paid when someone buys our icons instead of giving credits."
"Shameless fool.You create something out of the blue and you pitch your work against yourself. Free downloads versus paid downloads?"
"Yes yes."
"And what do you get after all that?
"Ah,! Now you ask me! Its Cha Ching!"
"What?"
"Its all a bit complicated you see, it slides down some scale or goes up the scale but I get something to buy toffees for some street children every month."
"Oh, a cause within a cause! When are you going to buy much more than toffees for the street children ? When are you going to live in your own house, drive a Merc, get a decent income for yourself?"
"What? Didn't understand."
"Yes. Why don't you work for us?"
"What do you do?"
"We run an NGO!"
"Cha Ching!"
Imagine if we were to get monthly reminders about dues to be paid to God for all the sins or sinful acts on earth.
How would it read?
" Hello, Your monthly subscription to be a good human being is over due.Please pay by the due date to avoid late payment fees.Please ignore if already paid".
And ofcourse the Almighty network has various options to upgrade or change your tariff plan according to your moral practices or responsibility to be a good human being.First you register and get a SIN card to activate your connection. For example you can dial a toll free number and follow various instructions to choose from 1 to 10 which would also include a family or a corporate plan. And then there's a Customer care number which is a 24/7 busy no. that one can listen to for some Heavenly music.There's also a portability option to choose from without losing your identity which you've built painstakingly from your birth.That is, you can directly link to a Hell connection if you feel you've tried enough to become a good human being. God is indeed a big time business magnate!
As long as the bills are paid within the due date or as a delayed payment one can continue to pursue the endless opportunity to be a good human being. Along the way a few sins here and there become part of the journey.From stamping an ant to booking an early return ticket to your mother in law would all be a part of acceptable sins well within the framework of rules & regulations as specified under the laws of human nature.And God's network controlling the enmasse civilised society's perception to differentiate between the good and the bad motivates them to become a lesser sinner everyother day.
And God's roaring business to make a good human being out of us only keeps growing at an alarming pace and is often a worry for the research agencies to collect or gather the data about what makes a human being from not being a good human being on a day to day basis.
A study commissioned by the God's Ministry for human welfare conducted a survey which revealed that every human being from the age group of 18 to 90 years suffer from IS -Irritable Syndrome which on a scale of 1 to 10 showed that 99% are prone to a handful of sins at the slightest provocation.This was the final report submitted to "God alone knows" Corporation by none other than a group of first ranking sinners from various mismanagement instituitions of the world.
There are also daily instances of people in the defaulters list who have consciously been the good samaritans of the society in doing only good things in life.According to the survey the 1% of the entire world population barring below 10 years of age have been practicing the art of being a good human being and are reported to be spread across the lesser known tribal pockets of the world.
In a daring attempt to unearth the possible attrocities happening in Heaven right under the nose of God, a TV reporter did a sting operation.
Here are the excerpts from the conversation:
TV Reporter: "How on earth can one identify the so called good deeds done by you?
God: "There are many. I do not wish to get into details. Take this small example. I have destined that you guys vote or elect your leader to run the Government only once in 4 years in some countries and once in 5 years in some.Imagine electing someone every 6 months.Wouldn't it be utter chaos?"
TV Rep: "But that was designed by our Constituition. How can you take any credit for it.?"
God: "I framed it."
TV Rep: "Where's the proof?"
God: "I dont know if you have observed, particularly in India. They have mentioned that
" Government work is God's work" in many govt office buildings."
Tv Rep: " Mmm.. Ok, May I ask, how you arrived at this successful model- monthly subscription to be a good human being.?"
God: " Oh, I always wanted to identify a model which is enduring in the long run and I freezed on a SINRISE industry."
Rep: " You mean, a Sunrise industry?"
God: " No. SINRISE industry,Dude.Nature has taught many things. Have you seen monkeys be it Chimps or anyother species of monkeys will always fight against each other even though they all belong to the same group called Monkeys.Why?"
TV Rep: " Why?"
God: " The answer is THREAT! They do not want threats. I applied the same model in humans. You see they all fight against one another even though they all are just humans.My entire business model was based on that so that people continue to make mistakes after mistakes and they are always on an endless journey called PEACE."
TV Rep: " Oh, God!"
God: " Bless you."
TV Rep: " Why did you bless me ? "
God: " You praised me, That's why."
TV Rep: " Ok, on a personal note, which movie you'd prefer to watch again?"
God: " GODS MUST BE CRAZY"
TV Rep: " Mmm... Best action adventure film ?"
God: " GODzilla!"
TV Rep: " God, One final question.I happen to see many men in white clothing out here but without wings or halos.Are they under graduate angels?"
God: " No..no.. They are some politicians waiting for their visa to Hell. Since they were a bigger threat to peace down there I pulled them here."
TV Rep: " What do they do here? "
God: " Serve soft drinks. One second, I will get one of them to serve you."
Tv Rep: " No.. no..I am not sure if the soft drinks are not laced with...."
God: " Oh, Relax and say these words like you do in India, " In God we Trust!"
It was like all Hell breaking loose for the reporter who scrambled back to earth to air this exclusive interview with God.
But then, God was as usual back in business scanning through the latest sales reports on new connections.
Ah,Men!
